In this heartfelt and empowering episode, we sit down with several inspiring student parents who candidly share their journeys of balancing education, caregiving, and personal challenges. Joining the table is: Raheem Jackson: episode host and recent Alumni, Advocate / Speaker / Fatherhood & Mens Wellness, Shanice Acevedo: Hudson County Community College, Speaker / Student Parent Advocate Suleima Lopes: College Unbound student, Workshop Host / Speaker / Advocate Through their stories, we uncover the depth and diversity of what it means to be a student parent—and why redefining that term and meeting student parents where they are is essential.
De'Vonte Parson: (00:12)
Welcome to the We CU Unbound Stories, the College Unbound Podcast where we dive deep into the transformative work of our community, transforming self communities, justice and education. We're here to break down barriers and build up new possibilities. This is a platform for learning, a platform for healing, a platform for belonging and connection. So tune in and join us on this journey of empowerment.
Raheem Jackson: (00:54)
So welcome back everyone to another episode of We CU Unbound Stories. My name is Raheem Jackson and I will be hosting today's episode of Student Parent Voices, um, advocacy challenges and triumphs. And, uh, we are going to jump right into this and I'm going to introduce our guests. Well, they're actually gonna introduce themselves, uh, starting with Ms. Suleima.
Suleima Lopes: (01:27)
Hi everyone, my name is Suleima Lopes. Um, I've been at CU since 2017. I decided to do parent caregiving group for everybody that's in cu, also peer to peer. It's, um, every weekend, twice a week, Wednesday from 8:00 PM to um, 9:00 PM and Saturday from 4:00 PM to 5:00 PM anyone can come over and, um, chat about either parenting, caregiving, or mental health or even their, uh, project. Um, I welcome anybody from CU alumni. Anybody that wants to welcome anybody else outside, just DM me and, uh, we can go from there. I just wanna make sure that everybody is heard and advocate for themselves and others. So as, uh, we hear talking on this podcast, let's continue. .
Raheem Jackson: (02:27)
Thank you so much for that. That's dope. That's dope. I can't wait to hear more about it. And our next guest, Ms. Shanice, who I have a lot of time working with this past year, so can you please introduce yourself and tell us where you are coming from? Ms. Shanice.
Shanice Acevedo: (02:45)
Hi everyone, my name is Shanice Acevedo. I am a student parent fellow at Hudson Community College. Um, I am in Jersey City, well actually West New York, uh, it's called in Jersey City. Um, my project is actually, uh, student Parent Alliance. It is a resource hub where student parents like myself can connect with other student parents, whether it's for, um, workshops, it's for maybe you wanna just get things off your chest and also to connect with resources for working parents. Um, whether it's going to the food pantry or just connecting with someone for mental health, um, that would be the resource hub that you'd be, uh, going to.
Raheem Jackson: (03:29)
Dope sauce. Dope sauce. Thank you very much. I appreciate it. And again, my name is Raheem Jackson. Uh, I am a student at College Unbound, uh, student parent, a father of three amazing daughters. Uh, sometimes very crazy daughters. And, um, I like to advocate for the fathers out there. Uh, it's already tough enough being a student parent, as we all know, and some of the challenges that we go through. And I heard a very amazing quote, um, earlier in the year and they said, student parent voices are already unheard. And, you know, if they're already unheard then that means that the fathers are basically just not even there. And, um, that meant a lot to me. So, you know, I started advocating for student fathers, you know, trying to get, um, groups together and just working on, right now I'm currently working on a student father toolkit for colleges and things like that. So, yeah. Um, we're gonna get into it guys. So I know we've had some interesting conversations, uh, one-on-one. And I've had the, like I said, I had the experience to hear about your projects even prior to this. So I really am just curious to knowing, you know, what does being a student parent really mean to either of you? And how has it shaped you, your journey, your educational journey, and just your journey in general?
Raheem Jackson: (04:59)
Whoever wants to go first?
Shanice Acevedo: (05:01)
, I wasn't sure. Um, so student being a student parent, um, for me is basically being able to balance education and my priorities as a parent. Um, just learning how to time manage. Um, I'm horrible at time management, but being, um, part of this has definitely made me prioritize my goals more, my education, and also having time to be a mom. Um, my journey has definitely not been easy. It has been very challenging, but definitely rewarding. Um, and it just made me realize that I shouldn't be giving up and I have to set goals for myself and be able to accomplish them and have my children see everything, um, and feel motivated to do the same thing that I'm doing. Um, so that's what student parent means to me.
Raheem Jackson: (05:52)
Awesome. Awesome. What about you, Ms. Lopes?
Suleima Lopes: (05:56)
Well, this is my first, um, baby. So she's recently just was born in February. So to me, student parent is a lot right now for me, but not feeling overwhelmed just to, just trying to be there for her and spending the time. And it's my senior year, so trying to navigate everything and organize in like scheduling with everybody is kind of a little hard. But being with CU and with everyone here being a family, it kind of helps 'cause it lines up where everything, like, we all understands that we used to be a parent or you're a caregiver. 'cause I was a C I'm a CNA. So it kind of helps and me to graduate it proves that I can do it. 'cause I always, I always put myself down and everybody's putting me up and I'm like, I need to stop doing that. And I don't want my daughter to see that. So I need to stop putting myself on that high pedestal.
Raheem Jackson: (06:56)
I appreciate it, both of you because you, yours is, uh, your baby girl. Baby girl. Yes. She's two months or about to be two months, correct? Mm-hmm . Oh yeah. See I , those are the fun times 'cause they ain't walking or talking back yet. , .
Suleima Lopes: (07:12)
I have nieces and nephew, but it's not the same though. It's
Raheem Jackson: (07:15)
Not the same. But no, I get it. And you, you both hit on something very, you know, important that there are challenges and things that we are gonna have to overcome and things that we definitely sometimes overlook. 'cause we don't really have a choice, right? Mm-hmm . We gotta just get through it, you know, and they kind of talked about that in the last podcast episode about resilience, but sometimes it's not resilience when it's just what you know and what you just gotta do. You don't really have a choice, right? Um, for me, you know, being a student father, it, it is exactly what you guys said, right? It's challenging at times. But I also realized that I want to try to emulate what a male should look like in my girls' lives. I'm a father of three daughters and, you know, showing them how to, how I can show up and do these things and be accomplished and, um, really pushing myself through all these challenges.
Raheem Jackson: (08:15)
And that's one of those things that always comes up with student parenting, right? Is all these barriers that we have, all the things that we're facing, whether it's financial, mainly financial, right? Um, work and just other things that are happening in life, right? Because life doesn't stop because we all of a sudden are chasing our goals and want to do these things. Or, you know, if our children get sick, now we have to worry about like, can I show up to class tonight? Or what's going on? Um, but still just, you know, really going after my goals and still showing, setting that example for, for my children. Um, I also wanted to point out, you know, one of the things that comes along with student parenting is that you don't have to necessarily have birth those children, right? Like it's for care. You, you mentioned this earlier, right?
Raheem Jackson: (09:05)
It's for caregivers also, right? Mm-hmm . So when we talk about the student parent community, we are also talking about caregivers, right? So you can be, you talked about your nieces and nephews, right? I do the same, right? I, I claim my nieces and my nephews as my own when they're with me. Like those are my children. I take care of them. And sometimes it could be, you know, um, a son and or daughter who's taking care of their parents, right? Yeah. That now you are now part of this community because you are caring for somebody else that is your responsibility. And that takes a lot. So I wanna make that clear also, is that I know a lot of the times when people hear student parents, they automatically just think like, oh, somebody with a child and and that's it. Right? And even for me, even as a father, my first thought is still sometimes majority of the time it's mothers, right?
Raheem Jackson: (09:57)
Like it's, it's still like, oh, that's for moms , right? Like, the moms go do that. And I think that's just that societal thing that we are trying, or I'm trying to really break through to, and, and reach out to, to the fathers out there. Um, I don't wanna be too much of a nerd and talk about all of the, the challenges that student parents face, right? Like I said, I know there's the stigma that goes along with being a student parent. There's the, the issues with whatever your institution may be, right? I know we had a very interesting conversation the other day, and hopefully we can talk about that a little bit, um, about, you know, policies and things like that and what that looks like. And as well as, you know, again, the financial gap. Because one thing that colleges and schools and period don't ever take into consideration is when you're a student parent, they don't take into consideration that you have x amount of children or whoever you're caregiving for and the expenses that are tied into that. So it doesn't account for those costs, right? So when you're throwing, taking classes on top of that, it becomes very hard a a huge struggle. And sometimes even support services, right? I know as a father, again, I'll, I'll get into that, that those support services can be, can be hard as well. Uh, with all of that, what are some of the challenges or biggest challenges you have faced so far, balancing school, parenting and just other life responsibilities?
Suleima Lopes: (11:36)
Well, for me, um, it's a topic really sensitive for me because being a CNA for about 12 of, uh, 12 years now, and a caregiver for a bunch of, uh, peoples, like children, elderly. And having my daughter now, it changed my life a lot because last year I went through a lot of things. 'cause I am, now, I'm, I'm not considered disabled 'cause I don't put that in my mind. But I had a major surgery that left me, like I wasn't able to do things. So when my daughter, when I found out I was pregnant, it was like a miracle. 'cause I didn't think it was gonna happen. It was something challenging for me because I also gotta learn how I gotta figure out things in the future. Like, if she start running, how am I gonna chase her? Because I wear a brace on my right foot and it's hurts.
Suleima Lopes: (12:32)
It's like nerve damage. And then I gotta deal with school. I gotta deal with work. I had to stop working in September, so I haven't been working. 'cause all of those challenges, I tried to overcome it, but my body started shutting down and it hurt so much. And I felt like I couldn't be there. I couldn't do things. And everybody's telling me to relax until I had her. And I seen her and I'm like, okay, she's here. I'm blessed. And I'm continuing to seeing every day, every moment with her being with her, the smile, the laughters that she be doing. So it is like, let me take this in right now that she is young and figure out things as we go and just live in the moment. And for me to finish school right now is, I'm kind of glad I did it slowly and I'm in my caststone, so I'm just taking my time with it and I'll be graduated. I've been in CU for a long time, but I don't wanna leave CU . I really don't wanna leave CU . I don't know what is it, but it's just, that was a challenge. And I know I can overcome it. I really can. That's all I gotta say.
Raheem Jackson: (13:49)
You can, you are overcome. You did overcome it. You did it. Come on now you did it. Give your hype yourself up,
Suleima Lopes: (13:56)
Keith. This, I said, I gotta put myself on the high
Raheem Jackson: (13:58)
Pressure . You did it. You definitely overcame that. And thank you for sharing that. That is beautiful. And you know, we never know what's coming our way sometimes. So that is beautiful. And really, I really appreciate you sharing that. Uh, Ms. Shanice, what about you? Let's hear about some of your challenges, ma'am.
Shanice Acevedo: (14:19)
Lots of challenges. Um, my biggest challenge has been me managing my time effectively. Um, attending classes, studying, taking care of my kids, uh, working fulfilling o other obligations. Um, I had lost my job recently and it kind of put me in a, like a whole whirlwind. Like I've always been used to being a provider, working multiple jobs, um, to keep a roof over my head. And, you know, um, with attending classes and falling a little bit behind, you obviously have to think about the financial part with school, if you're falling behind on multiple classes, if you need to purchase books to make up other things. And it has definitely been crazy. Uh, but like I was saying before, I feel like my challenges have shaped me into the woman I am. Everything that I've gone through, um, I've got through it and, and it wasn't easy, but I've always pushed myself forward.
Shanice Acevedo: (15:21)
Like, I can do this. You know, right now times are hard, but I'm always gonna find a way to make it work. Um, or just even juggling childcare. Like, you wanna be able to attend these things in school, but you have to think about, am I gonna pick up my kid on time? Can I bring my kid? Um, and the, just the challenges with going into school and having like the barriers, like, kids can't come here or how long are your kids gonna be here for? Um, so it's definitely have been a journey. Um, and I'm glad that I've experienced what I've experienced 'cause I can help other student parents, um, get through their process as well. Um, and Sima, you are blessed. I'm glad that you are going through your stuff and you're kicking butt every day. All right. So be proud of yourself.
Raheem Jackson: (16:14)
Yes. I'm loving this community here. I'm loving this sense of community. This is what this is all about. And you know, I'm, I'm, I'm actually probably gonna get a, give myself a pow pow because I'm surprised I haven't mentioned it yet, how Shanice and I have been working together with through generation Hope, and Family U, which is, uh, basically is a company that helps to support student, uh, parents and, uh, higher education. And they focus by basically, um, advocating for policy change and advocating for, you know, and bringing awareness to student parents throughout different schools, throughout the entire country. Um, changing the culture and just grabbing all that data and really bringing about that change. Uh, so Shanice and I and three other student fellows, we actually, uh, been working together for a year in different schools and, um, you know, bringing about that change.
Raheem Jackson: (17:14)
So that is one of the ways that we are actually doing this and, you know, addressing those challenges, right? Because it's a, it's a much bigger story and it's, it's sad. And like we were talking about the other day, right? Some of those challenges from childcare to just everyday life things, whether it's, you know, work, right? I was outta work for a year, you know, and I didn't know what I was gonna do. That's how I got into CU . I was like, I ain't got nothing else going on. . Um, you know, some of my challenges were, uh, when I first got, I was the typical, like I got outta high school. I didn't know what I was doing in my life. And then I ended up in the Army for eight years. And then, you know, I bounced around and then I, I've been to other colleges and I always just told myself that this wasn't the thing for me, right?
Raheem Jackson: (18:05)
I wasn't a college guy. So I always tailored my life to like, um, finding things that would work where I didn't need a degree and all that stuff. And then eventually I got into the field where I needed that degree to move forward. And, but now at this point in my life where I have three children, you know, I'm married and all that other stuff, and it's just like, how do I do this now? I couldn't do it before with no children, and I was by myself, , you know, I'm not gonna be able to do this now. But, you know, again, the, the financial stuff, worrying about work, childcare was huge. And that's one of the things I do love about CU was that was probably one of the, the winning moments for me when I was told like, Hey, they will have childcare for class.
Raheem Jackson: (18:51)
I was like, uh, all right. I guess I'm good. , right? Um, and then just again, the parenting and just other, like I said, waking, I work overnight as well. So there's times where I get home at seven, eight o'clock in the morning and I'm trying to figure out like, how am I gonna get my homework done? It seems like the week just flew by and I, I , I have no idea what's going on. So there are many, many challenges, but with all those challenges that you guys already started to touch on it, but I'm really curious to know, like, who are some of the people or what are some of the things that have inspired you to keep going, you know, to keep wanting to support other student parents, to keep wanting to pursue your education, you know, in the ways that you guys have been doing?
Suleima Lopes: (19:45)
Well, for me, it's my parents. My parents came from Cape Ver with nothing on their back but themselves and worked themselves so hard and had me while leaving two kids behind in Cape Ver. And starting from being in America and not knowing the system and, and the language they learned and they kept learning. So when my sisters came and my brother was born, they always put education on us to continue to keep going. My mom was always there putting your foot down. Like, yeah, you be strong, you can do this, you can do whatever you want. And as, um, they were working parents, me and my brother and sisters, we was there for each other for sports. They were there for the main stuff. But those are the people that bring us up. And also the aunts and the uncles. It takes a village to, um, bring you up.
Suleima Lopes: (20:47)
There was 20 of us or more like even cousins that were not blood when we just took a group picture a couple years ago and we're like, oh my God, it's been 20 years. . But those, like, it's a support system. So that's how I find like, see you being here is like a support system. I have gone to six or seven different schools. I have not found that support system like CU has. Everything was rushed with cu when you came in, you're like, wait, is this really a college? It is, but it's basic on you. It's basic around your family and they help you with everything. And they try to find that resource. And that's why I love about cu about that.
Raheem Jackson: (21:33)
I second that. I second that a lot. Um, that sense, you talked about it, and I know this is a very old school thing, the village, right. The support system. And I do feel like that village, that sense of village and community may be different today, right? It's not the same as it was maybe when we were growing up mm-hmm . Because I know like for me, the sense of village was like, if I did something stupid on the other side of town and one of my mom's coworkers, neighbors, friends, whoever saw it, I knew by the time I got home I was getting smacked upside the head. Like it was happening. And there was no doubt about it. And you know, that might not happen as much today, but like you said, it shows up in different places now. Right? Because now I, I have found a support system and generation hope, you know, with my family u team and you know, I've lit, uh, college Unbound as well. So I definitely agree with that. And that support system can come from a lot of different places. Uh, Ms. Shanice, would you like to share?
Shanice Acevedo: (22:41)
Um, my biggest inspiration are my kids. Um, they motivate me every day to keep going despite the obstacles, um, and challenges that I have to overcome. I also find strength in hearing stories from fellow student parents, um, who have succeeded in their own educational journeys. I feel like everyone has a story and you learn from each person. Um, like, uh, Raheem was saying, being part of generation hope, um, family, you, I have another support system. Um, no one's near me, by the way. Like everyone is so far. We only meet each other like four times throughout the year. And every time that we meet each other, we have stories like our lives and we learn from each other. Um, that has definitely also been an inspiration. Like, I'm with other people that are in other states doing big things too. They're trying to make changes.
Shanice Acevedo: (23:40)
And I love it. Like, I love learning from you guys. Um, I believe we can all achieve our goals. Um, so, you know, you are one of the people that inspire me. You, you're going to school and taking care of kids, married, all that stuff. It's an inspiration. Everyone's inspiration. Um, even additionally, like the, the professors, uh, or even our team with the school, so supportive, um, whatever you're going through, they help you. They're also an inspiration. Like, wow, I wanna be like you when I'm 70 years old. Like, you're still going . 'cause right now I feel like I'm still trying, you know? Um, but definitely balancing the education and my role as a parent. I have been inspired by everybody that I've met. Um, so yeah, you tho those are my inspirations. Everyone is my inspiration right now. ,
Raheem Jackson: (24:33)
I love it.
Shanice Acevedo: (24:34)
But my biggest one are my kids for sure. Yeah.
Raheem Jackson: (24:37)
Oh no, for sure. I think without my, without the kids, like what, what what will we be doing? Right? Um, I know for me, definitely I agree. My children are probably my biggest inspirations. Um, just for some context, my oldest is 14 and then I have a 7-year-old and a 5-year-old. And it's funny because my 7-year-old, she thinks , so she's like, and I tell her like, I'm graduating soon. And she's like, daddy's graduating from high school, . And you know, like, I love that, right? And when I'm, when I'm over and I don't feel like doing anything and she grabs her little fake laptop and she wants to do homework with me, you know, my 14-year-old. And I, like, we, she has a list of colleges that she wants to go to, right? And like, these are conversations that her and I are having now and what that looks like.
Raheem Jackson: (25:29)
And you know, it's, it's interesting, right? Because now we can talk about her grades in a different way, right? And when I like, when she's like, Hey, I want, she wants to go to school, like medical school and these, all these things. And you know, we start talking about her grades and GPA and all this other stuff and it actually makes an impact because she sees what I'm doing as well and she's like, oh, like I was joking the other night and I said, Hey, I gotta do my homework. She's like, oh, you're slacking Dash. It is like, you, you handing in late assignments. And I'm like, it's not late yet. . .
Raheem Jackson: (26:02)
You know what I mean? But, um, and then like you guys said, just having that support system, that network of people to, to rally around us when, when, uh, those, those bad and sad moments do come 'cause they do come right? And I'll speak for me at least that there's been times where I felt like I had to give up or wanted to give up. Even here at cu, you know? And even recently, there was times where I was like, I know I'm graduating in May, but just maybe a month or two ago I was ready to drop out and say, nah, maybe I'll start again in a year or so when things get better. Right? And if it wasn't for my family, you, you know, crew and, and generation hope and, and cu you and my coaches and everybody else, my entire network, my cohort and just everybody, right?
Raheem Jackson: (26:54)
My wife, my kids, whoever. I don't know if I would still be here right now doing what I'm doing because it is, it is a lot. It it can be, um, overwhelming. Very defeating at Overwhelming. Yeah. And overwhelming and defeating at times. So, you know, it it, it is, it is hard. But there's the flip side to that coin, right? Because as much struggles and as much as we go through, I don't think any of us would be doing this if it wasn't rewarding at all. Right? If we didn't have those moments to sit there and say like, this is why I'm still going. Right. This is it. So what are some of the positive and rewarding experiences that you've had so far, uh, to help you, to help like reinforce why you're doing what you're doing?
Shanice Acevedo: (27:48)
Um, I could go, um, one of the most rewarding experiences I have been, um, like recently was finally like, so I was going through a lot. Um, and my grades were not up to part. Um, they weren't as I wanted it to be. And I was going through so much and stressed out and, um, I told myself, you know what, I'm, I'm almost graduating. Why am I like not kicking the pedal to the metal right now? You know? Um, and I took two weeks and strictly just started doing my work, studying and meeting with my professors, um, reaching out to generation, um, hope and was like, I need help. I need to get in contact with people. Um, I, I need time to make up my assignments. I cannot fail. Like I cannot, I've, I'm almost done. Like, you know, and I was able to overcome that.
Shanice Acevedo: (28:48)
My grades are back up. Um, and my kids, obviously, they're around me, so they see that I'm going through it and, you know, trying to take care of them and trying to get my education. And they were aware that my grades were down and they were like, mom, you could do it. And, you know, and I finally got the grades up and I was showing them, I'm like, look, I did it. And they were so proud of me. Nothing is more re rewarding than seeing your kids be proud of something you accomplished. And I felt like that was a positive and rewarding experience for me. Like, I went through something, my kids went through it with me and I was able to get back on the horse. I was like, no. Like, I'm not gonna let this conquer my world right now. Like, I'm gonna do what I have to do to get to the end. Um, just reinforcing like my goals all over again, keeping myself focused, um, was definitely the best thing for me right now. So, um, yeah, sacrifices were made and now I'm, I'm back where I needed to be. So I think that's a good, uh, experience to share .
Raheem Jackson: (29:56)
That's a great experience to share and congratulations and, and I'm proud of you. And you know, again, overcoming those challenges to, to, to be able to get to where we are today, right? To get back on track. And that's not always easy. Sometimes, sometimes, you know, you gotta deal with the mental health issues. You gotta deal with everything else in between. And sometimes it's not even just our issues and like you said, bringing in your, your children into it, right? They could be going through something as well and that can take us off our path. But staying on path and being that example. So I, I appreciate that and thank you for sharing as always. And you're doing it. Hype yourself up, homie. You're doing it. . What about you, Selima?
Suleima Lopes: (30:43)
Well, I wanna congrat you over your overcoming 'cause it takes a lot of energy, especially when you have multiple kids and what you're going through. Mental health is really important. And that's part of my project too, as like the CU project. So I congrats you, you overdid it, you there, you, it's, thank you , your foot is almost at the door, both of you. The foot is almost at the door. So we are here and we're, we, we're continuing. For me, my positivity, I think is always been helping others. Um, like my little sister was just telling me, you are always helping somebody. And that's where you get your yourself always hyped. Like you can go through something yourself, but you are always helping someone else to bring them up. You, you're like the glue of the family. So even when you're going down through your whole mental health or something, you are always the glue that keeps us up. Or you are always checking up on us or checking on someone. I like, I have got, um, certificates for self self. I'm going butcher this right now. , um, the self, um, as acc I'm butchering it. Um, self
Raheem Jackson: (32:00)
Advocacy,
Suleima Lopes: (32:01)
Yes, I have got it a couple times. And I think it's just like me is just being positive and trying to stay positive. Even when the negative hit me, I kept like talking about the negative, but two seconds later I already feel like I'm solving it. Um, now that I have my daughter, I don't wanna feel that way. I wanna keep that positivity, positivity to keep going and have that smile no matter what it is. And even if I'm down, I wanna pick myself back up and say, I can do this. I did it for me. I'm doing it for her. So show myself. And that's why I'm gonna keep putting in my head and channel in my head like a mantra. Like keep saying you're doing it, you're doing it, you're doing it.
Raheem Jackson: (32:48)
That's beautiful. Because again, you are doing it. You're both doing it. We're all doing it. And it is beautiful because sometimes I think that is, that's actually something I feel like a lot of student parents have in common is the need. And that's actually a big thing I noticed throughout College Unbound is there's a need to want to, to help others, right? Um, and to be of service to others. And something I've learned throughout my journey, and I'll I'll share this real quick, is that I'm also a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. And I've been sober for over 14 years now. And part of that is being of service to others, right? Because if I'm not sitting here drowning in my own sorrows and you know, throwing myself a pity party all the time, and I'm not saying that you can't do that, right? There's gonna be moments where like, it's okay to feel bad for yourself, right?
Raheem Jackson: (33:44)
It's okay to to recognize that we are going through things and to have those moments, but I also had to recognize for myself, I can't live in that, right? So when I start doing for others, it, it makes me feel better, but I'm also very happy to see them do better as well. Yes. So I agree with that a thousand percent. And that probably is probably one of the most rewarding experiences is when I talk to other men when I meet with other fathers and we share our experiences and talk to those, the, those stories. And I hear other people's experiences sometimes and I'm like, wait, I actually might be able to help with this. Or they can help me with whatever I'm going through. And, and being able to see other people get to the other side of whatever it is. I don't care how small or how big that's it for me, right?
Raheem Jackson: (34:33)
Like that is it. And being able to change the narrative, you know, one person, one story at a time on how student fathers and men period show up in these spaces. Right. Um, and it kind of brings me back to our conversation the other day and I, I think it's interesting and I really do want to talk about it, like policy changes and things like that, right? And we were talking about our experiences with some of the things that we've encountered. And Hanish you were talking about, you know, one of the policies about like being able to bring, you know, children to, to class and school, right? Would you care to elaborate on that a little bit more and like what your experience around that was and, and how did that actually, you know, either deter you or like, I don't know, maybe lit a fire under you and push you forward?
Shanice Acevedo: (35:32)
Um, so yeah, we did have that conversation a few days ago. I did have a meeting with a few people, um, just kind of, so I'm a remote, uh, student parent. I do do work on campus from every now and then I do meet with other student parents on campus to be their voice. Um, you know, I go there and, and talk to a lot of student parents to see what are your challenges that you're going through, you know, and everyone circles back to the fact of having kids on campus, um, you know, and trying to break those barriers. So I had a meeting and it was a kind of a little bit discouraging, um, because yes, there is a child policy, you know, on, on campus. It's completely understandable that there are classes that kids should not be in. Um, for example, um, sexual education.
Shanice Acevedo: (36:27)
You obviously would not want your toddler or your young teenager in these type of classes. That's understandable. But then, then you have other classes where you're able to come in, they're not speaking on such things and or like math class or, or history and, and stuff like that. It was very heartbreaking to hear that a lot of professors would prefer not to have the children in class. Um, you know, and, and I was in meetings with these professors too, like, and they weren't my professors, but just wanting to kind of see from both ends, the student parents and from the professors. Like, what are, what are your, your thoughts on this? And a lot of professors were saying that they would much rather not have the distraction. Um, and that was very heartbreaking because it's like, you know, here are these student parents, they are trying their hardest to get their education, um, and they're in the middle of their semester.
Shanice Acevedo: (37:29)
Things happen, you know, God forbid your spouse passes away, you know, you have no one else. And you know, it was very challenging to hear that these student parents have to go through all these challenges just to get the approval, just to have their kid in class for two hours, three hours, you know, it was like a chain of command. They had to submit a form. The form had to get approved by the dean. The dean had to contact the professor, and the professor didn't had to contact the student. And it was just a, like, it was just so crazy to me because all it takes is for you to just say, for example, I was telling them, why can't you guys put it on the syllabus in the beginning of the semester that way that you're a student parent. If that challenge does come about that they don't have to go searching for their answers, you know, it's in the syllabus, Hey, um, I am okay if, if there's an emergency for your child to come in, uh, between the hours this and this, or if you're able to remote for that class for that day, you know, things happen.
Shanice Acevedo: (38:35)
Life happens. And I feel like that was super like, disheartening for me to hear that. Like a lot of professors were not really, you know, for it. And I, all I was asking was for them to put it in the syllabus, put it in the syllabus, let us know if it is okay for a child to come in so that we're not going through so much just to get the child in, you know? And it was, it was insane. I was like, wow. Like I cannot believe it. But then, you know, on the bright side, there were some professors that were like, yeah, you know what, we should put it in the syllabus. Why not? You know, it's one thing to add on the syllabus and that way that the student parent feels welcomed. You know, they don't feel like they have to like, go through all these barriers just to get their kid in for two hours just to get their exam done or whatever.
Shanice Acevedo: (39:23)
Um, so that's the conversation that we touched, uh, on a few days ago. And, um, I'm working on it. I, I feel like it's something that's necessary. I feel like why can't you add it on the syllabus? You know? It's, it's not, it's not something that's challenging. Just add a sentence, you know? And, um, it would just make life so much easier for student parents, um, and then let us know how, how we can get this done. Um, so yeah, I I wasn't too happy about that and I am working my hardest to get this done. Um, and let's see, hopefully it gets the policies change a little bit.
Raheem Jackson: (40:03)
Listen, I'm actually very proud of you 'cause that's a lot, right? And mm-hmm . For you to be an online student, a remote student, um, with a actual brick and mortar school, and to still be advocating for those parents that are showing up there. And like you said, you're not even asking for them to change the entire policy and make all these other rules, you're saying just add it to the syllabus so we know ahead of time and that's it. But I count it as a win when you have people in your corner, right? When you have, at least, I don't care if it's one person, when you have somebody in your corner, it's going to grow and they're going to, they're gonna be with you. So keep fighting that fight and just know again, you know, you're not alone. But I'm very proud and happy to hear that because it is true, right?
Raheem Jackson: (40:51)
I, I know we talked about it, but I'm gonna say like, there's a place i, I worked at and they had a pet policy, but they don't have a childcare policy. So you can walk into anybody's office and you'll see the dog beds in the corner, you'll see the cat tower, you'll see all that. You, so I can bring my dog to class, I can bring the dog to work with me. But if I was like, yo, uh, I, I'm, I don't have childcare, and it's like, uh, you might have to call out or like, no, we don't have that here for, you know, parents or student parents. And one of the things I hate hearing is we don't have that problem on school, on our campus, right? Like, it's not a problem. , right? Being a parent is not a problem. , right? Like, and that's, that's why I hate hearing that, especially the way they phrase when they phrase it like that, we don't have that problem on our campus.
Raheem Jackson: (41:48)
And it's like, yeah, being a parent is not a problem. So you gotta, even how they phrase things sometimes is just crazy to me. Um, but I thought that was crazy, right? Like, like you said, you're just asking for this simple change of can we please just add it to the syllabus so that we don't have to go through all these other channels just to find out that this teacher doesn't even want students or children in their class period. And, you know, but here I am at a place where on this college campus, I can bring two dogs into work with me, but I can't bring my children or I can bring dogs to class with me, but I can't bring my child, right? Like to the point where they have like water bowls outside for the pets and they have things set up for strictly for the animals, but there's no playground, there's no playroom, there's nothing for students, student parents, right?
Raheem Jackson: (42:46)
For children, period. There's one lactation room in a building that I found, and it's not even in use. Like nobody uses the building. It's very, it is like pretty much a student ran building, but where that lactation room is, it's, it's hidden. Like you would have to, you would have to know specifically where it was like, I found it by accident , right? Like, that's how I found it. I was like, oh, what's this room? And I was like, oh, snap. Like , I never even knew this was here. So yeah, like that's how far away hidden it is. So like, it's one of those things, and I can almost guarantee that it was not for a student parent, it was probably for, you know, a faculty member or a staff member. Um, and you know, it just brings me, you know, the things that you're talking about, like some of these other barriers that we are facing.
Raheem Jackson: (43:38)
Like I know as a father, one of my biggest struggles has always been finding certain resources, right? And in my journey it's been, the resources have been geared towards a certain type of father. And there's nothing wrong with that, but it's the father that is just getting outta prison. It is the father that is, uh, behind on like child support, , right? And, you know, a lot of the resources are geared towards helping these men rebuild families and how to show up in society or how to, you know, they have like, uh, workshops for these fathers that are either just, you know, reintegrating into society and things like that. But what about the fathers that are here that, you know, may not be on child support or that are solely have sole custody of the children. You know, you talked about, you know, unfortunately, partners passing away, that happens, right? Mm-hmm . There's, you know, I know of fathers who have full custody of their, their children because the mother did not want anything to do with the children, right? Things happen, right? And I think about like, programs like wic, right? It's literally women, infants and children, right? That's the name of the program. But what I came to found out and found out even through my own experiences is that WIC is for fathers too.
Raheem Jackson: (45:14)
Never knew that.
Shanice Acevedo: (45:16)
I never knew that, that news to me.
Raheem Jackson: (45:19)
Yes. Yes. So, and that's the point. So men, fathers can apply for wic. It is unheard of. It is not a thing to the point where even if I were to go and file, like they would probably look at my application and think that it's like a mistake or something, right? Like, they're like, oh, no, we'll just keep pushing. Like, you gotta keep going. But WIC is forefathers as well. But then again, they don't advocate that. They don't show that. They don't showcase that, right? So the, again, as a father, when I see that and I'm like, oh, women, infants, okay, I guess that ain't for me. Right? Um, all of these things, there's, there's so many programs and there's so much help for mothers, which there should be. I'm not saying that there should be, right? And all of that, but I think some of the challenges and some of what I'm really trying to break through to, and get people to bring awareness to is a lot of the advocating for, for the men, you know, uh, male caregivers or you know, fathers as well.
Raheem Jackson: (46:25)
'cause I know I've talked to other men where they're like, well, I don't have my children all the time. So now they feel like they might not be included in the circle of student parents and, and caregivers. And it's like, you don't have to, like, you're still a father 24 7 no matter what. Right? You are a parent 24 7, whether your children are with you 24 7 or not, right? I don't care if you get them every other weekend. I don't care if you get 'em once a month. You are always a parent. You are always a father and you're always a mother, right? And I want people to hear that because I want them to realize, like, that doesn't stop you from being who you are. That doesn't stop you from caring for your children and showing up the way that you need to. Um, for some it actually lights that fire underneath them to do more, right?
Raheem Jackson: (47:10)
Mm-hmm . To get that, that extra time to do all those other things. I think it's, it's just very important to highlight all of that, right? These challenges for, for student parents. I think sometimes people look at and they're like, oh, well, we all have financial issues. And it's like, yes. And oh, well we, we've had these issues too before. And it's like, well, yeah, nobody's taken away from the issues that, you know, a non-student parent may have. But it is kinda exasperated when you add these other factors into it, right? And like I said, for me as a father where I'm like, Hey, sometimes I don't even know how to show up in certain spaces because when I show up and I'm the only father there, I'm the only male there. I feel out of place. I feel like, Ooh, , did I make a mistake? Like, how does, how does this work? Um, but with all of that, I, I really do want to say I'm so proud of both of you. I, I love everything that you're doing. I love what I'm seeing, and I, I love what's to, to come in the future. Um, I'm with you Selima. Like, you know, it's, it's an amazing thing to be graduating soon, but, you know, uh, hey Adam, Adam Bush, if you're listening,
Suleima Lopes: (48:32)
Yes, ,
Raheem Jackson: (48:33)
We need a job after this after Graduat, but ,
Suleima Lopes: (48:38)
We'll travel, we'll
Raheem Jackson: (48:39)
Travel. So, um, you know, I, I definitely agree with that. Uh, so let's see if we can leave on a, on a high note as well. Can you guys tell me, what advice would you give other student parents who may be struggling or even considering coming back to school? College?
Shanice Acevedo: (49:08)
I would say my advice would be not to be afraid to ask for help. Um, reach out to your school support system, whether it's academic, uh, tutoring, care assistance, counseling for mental health. Um, it's okay to reach out to your family and friends when you're not feeling at your best. Um, and to connect with other student parents. You know, everyone's going through something. You're not the only one. Everyone's going through their challenges. And set realistic goals for yourself. Always be true to yourself. Um, you don't wanna set goals for yourself and, and it be not realistic. Um, and don't lose sight of your goals.
Suleima Lopes: (49:50)
Yes, I agree with Janice. Um, everything that she said, also, there's also supports outside. Like, either some people don't like it, like therapy or family and friends or somebody that you just met and you, you, you, you becoming family, you know, reach out to somebody that, that you see all the time. They, they see the signals of, like, you, you might not see it, but they can see like the signs, like you're going down and they probably bring you up, or laughter or an economy. Just reach out and don't give up. No matter how hard it is. You wanna quit at the last minute, don't give up. Do it for yourself, do it for you. And you'll see everything will come along.
Raheem Jackson: (50:39)
Yes, I love it. I love it. And I agree with that. Everything Don't give up. Believe in yourself, right? We didn't come this far just to get this far right. We have so much more to offer. And I think my advice to anybody that's struggling is exactly the same thing. Don't give up on yourselves. There's, there's so much more to come, right? You've, you've fought this hard to get this far, and this is not the end of the road. Um, and for anybody that's thinking about returning to school, Selima, you said it earlier, right? Do it at your pace. Do what works for you, right? Yeah. Don't think that there's a race to get this done. Do what works for you, right? And, and believe in yourself, right? And, and find that community and, you know, plug for College Unbound, because College Unbound is is is that community.
Raheem Jackson: (51:39)
We got that. You're gonna find that. And, um, I'm very just, I'm very proud to be a part of that, uh, that community. And with that, I want to thank you both so much for sharing your stories with us and, and sharing your experiences, your challenges, and your wins. Your, your, you know, everything, right? It is been beautiful. Um, and I want to thank everybody else for tune tuning into another episode of, uh, we See You Unbound. Uh, today's episode again, student Parent Voices, advocacy Challenges and Triumphs. I thank you all and uh, have a good day or night.